Perhaps some of the problem is that I feel like I need to have an image of myself to stick to: I am a girl who doesn't blowdry her hair, or I am a girl who reads a lot, or I am a girl who asks boys out. This means that I cannot just be the girl who I am in this moment. Right now, I am a girl who drank a little too much to drive but drove home anyway, who missed her friend's play because she wanted

I find my mindfulness slipping the past few days; it is as though my mind simply doesn't want to do the work. I look up to find myself half-way through a sink of dishes, barefoot, with no idea what time it is or what the weather is like outside. I find myself three beers into party, talking to someone whose name I don't know, or suddenly peering at myself in a bathroom mirror, red-eyed and woozy.