i always resonate a moment of deep, hollow silence when you leave. i know you can't help it, and i don't want it either. i have a strange crawling at the base of my spine, an almostanger that isn't your fault, that finds its root in something i don't have words to understand. it makes me pull my shoulders tight and turn my head. i don't want to take my shoes off tonight, needing the warmth of stasis and the comfort that comes with holding very still. i don't know where to run anymore, and i don't know why my night just collapsed under the weight of absolutely nothing at all.