it goes. i decided that i don't want to go to stanford or reed or even penn, that i'd really only be willing to go to swarthmore next year and otherwise i'm taking a year off, period, can't do this anymore. i've been exploring ways to spend aforementioned year off (give me ideas if you have any), and top of the list is the leapyear program, followed by maybe a stint at an organic farm in italy or god knows what. i want to learn a language, i want to be able to garden, i want to be on my own, and i want to feel like i'm learning more than i would at school. i'd like an ocean and some trees, and i'd like to go somewhere i've never been before.