Rant and Ramble

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anger sweeps in and wipes me away, so sudden i don't even taste it before i find my jaw clenched and my fingernails drilling dark crescents into my palms. i want to throw the phone across the room; i picture it shattering, the same way that later i imagine the sound of glass breaking and the blood that would pool on the floor if i kicked through my mirror. a heartbeat, and then sorrow cascades through me and i weep soundlessly, choking on air. i find three roaches in my bathtub when i fill my water bottle because the sink is too full of dishes to fit anything beneath the faucet, and i imagine a line of flames against the summer skyline. in between, i read a good book and feel soft and safe and calm, i delight in a thunderstorm and the rhythmic turning of the fan. i had an utterly wonderful weekend and now i am losing my mind.

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