we slept in late on saturday and ran to shop call, also late, and were suprised to hear the radio on under the buzzing of rotary saws and the sloshing of paint.

oh.

it's hard to stay sensitized in this world. the first shock subsides soon enough, and then all you're left with is the endlessly repeating coverage, the increasingly tangential and sensationalist information, the flat voice of NASA's spokesperson who, really, couldn't have been more emotional without being unprofessional as well. the conflicting accounts and obvious ignorance beneath an everthinning veil of impartial speculation. the president.

i want to mourn for those lost, because they died in service of a cause and an ideal far more worthy, in my opinion, than that of any of our petty, horrific wars. i want to be shattered, or angry, or something... but mostly i just feel quiet, and numb.