there was a debacle of sorts at the coffeeshop sunday night, involving an improvisational dance floor and some mistletoe (and featuring the conspicuous holiday absence of the coffeeshop's owner). there was a girl i'd met earlier in the evening, who strenuously hit on me all night, self-consciously offering to stop if she was "frightening me." i could only laugh and think of high school dances, where all the girls danced dirtiest with the other girls and that was only the beginning. she ran around dizzyingly, kissing everyone she could haul under the mistletoe, and then proclaiming to them - all male but me - that she was gay and they shouldn't get any ideas.


matt and i talked later and commented on how unfortunate it is that the single defining feature of her personality seemed to be "lesbian." it was all she talked about; it's all she's talked about every time i've seen her since. i want to hold her shoulders and tell her to chill out, that the girlfriend she so bemoans not having might be intimidated by the way she tells every person she meets how long it's been since she got laid and what she did to her exgirlfriend in the parkinglot of denny's. i want to tell her that sexuality is often more complicated than "i like girls," that she's got her whole life to get laid so for christ's sake calm down about it. there was a discussion at the table about pooling to buy her a vibrator for christmas, but we were all laughing too hard to work out the details.


it just makes me sad to see somebody working so hard to prove something that they clearly don't understand about themselves. and annoyed that i can't go to the coffeeshop without having to declare fifteen times that i like boys better.