in my dream, i help a woman give birth. i am eating a piece of candy and can't get it off my fingers, but the baby is coming out, the woman hunched and screaming, and it wiggles into my arms. i almost drop it, i am looking somewhere else but i feel the thud of the cord being cut, i hand it to her, what a beautiful boy and she says she hates it. her husband takes it away. my own breasts are heavy and aching with milk, but he won't let me nurse the baby, asks me with disdain if i'm the one who loves his child, and the baby lies wrinkled and silent and i know it will die.